Dear Miss Jennifer Kane:

In response to your article "Powerless in every sense of the word," we are very proud of our "cramped room." We'd rather consider it optimized space that has enough room to fit another person comfortably. Despite what your article suggests, we are very capable of shutting our door, but we prefer not to because we are friendly, and enjoy having others visit. Everyday we meet a new face, and see people we haven't seen in days.

Believe it or not, some people even use the stairs just to see us. Look at that, we're helping the campus population get some exercise.

Though you obviously consider them overkill, our two television sets are something that many people have said they would like to have. On occasion, they are turned to different channels, because sometimes we don't want to watch the same thing. Remarkably, this prevents fighting between roommates. As far as the two computers, both of us have many friends to talk to via AOL Instant messenger. If we did not have the two computers, how can we keep in touch with our friends from home who now attend colleges as far as 10 hours away? From a more academic standpoint, lets say both of us have to write papers (or responses to obscene article in the Delphian), it is a lot more comfortable to use computers in our room, than the computers in the library. Plus, having computers in our room only keeps the traffic on library computers down, freeing time for someone else who might need to use it.

"Watered down, MTV hit?" If you could explain to me how songs from the 1980s are watered down by MTV that would be great. In fact, in our opinion these classics do not receive enough airtime in today's media. You are correct in saying that songs not by "Fiddy Cent" being played in our room are not that uncommon. However, maybe you should spend more time than you already do, and you could listen to the wide variety of music that is played; ranging from Simon and Garfunkel, to Beethoven, to John Mellencamp, to the one-hit wonders no one else would know.

You seem to spend a lot of time outside of our room, but do you really know who we are? If you did, then you would know that 50 cent is not our favorite artist. You would know that both television sets are usually not on. On occasion both are on when there are multiple sports games being aired, because we enjoy sports. You would know that we do not use words such as "Dude" or "Duh" Actually, we hate the word "Dude" and have not said "Duh" since the 7th grade.

Calling us imbeciles seems just a little cruel and misguided. I'm sure since you're in the honors college that you know an imbecile is "A person of moderate to severe mental retardation having a mental age from three to seven years and generally being capable of some degree of communication and performance of simple tasks under supervision" (American Heritage Dictionary). This might just be an assumption (we know you love assumptions) but I think you're trying to say that because we're athletes, it makes us dumb. I would like to see you examine the intellect of all the athletes at this school, and see just how wrong you are. Actually, I know for a fact that quite a few athletes are in the honors college. In addition, not only are you belittling athletes, but what message does your use of the word "imbecile" send to those whom actually suffer from a mental handicap? I'm sure many people at this University have some sort of a relationship with a handicapped person, be it a relative or otherwise, and to use such words so loosely is an insult to these people.

In conclusion, Ms. Kane, please consider gathering facts first in the future, and then write articles with factual information. You fail to make the connection in your article between our "wastefulness" to the power problems on this campus and furthermore stereotype us in front of our peers on a campus wide level. These power outages, as you probably should know, have been occurring due to the construction on campus. Replacing the heating pipes campus-wide needs holes to be dug near the electric lines, hence cutting the power so the construction workers do not get electrocuted. "You like apples? How do you like dem apples?"

Such poor journalism on your part is inexcusable, especially in an academic setting such as ours. To quote a legend (80s great Bruce Springsteen, not "Fiddy") "You can't start a fire worrying about your little world fallin' apart." These blackouts on campus aren't our fault, so please mind your own business, "even if we're just dancin' in the dark."

-The Residents of the Totally 80's room, Earle Hall 127

Dear Jim and Ryan,

I am both hurt and stunned at your attack of my journalistic integrity, boys of 127.

Though I see that you are able to capably use a dictionary, you seemed to have missed a few key words in your frantic search to discredit me.

Satire:

1. A literary work holding up human vices to ridicule or scorn.
2. Trenchant wit, irony, or sarcasm used to expose and discredit vice or folly.

Opinion:

1. A view, judgement, or appraisal formed in the mind about a particular matter.
2. A belief stronger than impression and less strong than positive knowledge.

Furthermore, gentlemen, I didn't even know that you were athletes. I, like many others campus, have friends who participate in the athletic teams here at Adelphi. I think athletes are some of the most delightful people in the world.

You seem very proud of your response to my column, even capping it with a splendid little Good Will hunting quote just to reinforce your "triumph." I am just troubled that you, as well as many others seemed to miss the gist of what I was writing. While I am well aware that the construction on campus is nothing more than a means to an end, it continues to plague my dedication to greater learning. Because, after all, isn't that why we came to the lovely grounds of Adelphi? To get an education of the highest caliber?

With Utmost Sincerity,
Jenn Kane