Intimate Student Teacher Relationships: How Personal is Too Personal?

by Goldie Lovelocks

We all remember Kelly Kapowski's relationship with college professor Jeremiah in Saved by the Bell: The College Years. Or, the adorable Joshua Jackson on Dawson's Creek, and his character, Pacey's, relationship with teacher Ms. Jacobs. While these stories made for great entertainment, the reality of such a situation is never really discussed. Do student teacher romances still exist? What are the ramifications of such trysts? Is there a line some teachers cross between professional mentor and personal tutor?

My friend Andrew, University of Michigan, was repetitively approached by his language professor in a very sexual manner. At first he thought she was just being friendly, and that she treated all her students the same. He went to her office for advice on a paper one afternoon, when she closed the door and began to massage his shoulders. He felt incredibly uncomfortable and excused himself. Andrew's professor made him uneasy, and whether her intentions were sexual or not, that is unacceptable.

But nothing like that ever happens at a small school like Adelphi University, right? WRONG!!! Only a few years ago there were at least two teachers, who shall remain nameless, involved with students. With a student teacher ratio of 14 to 1, it is not surprising that students become very close with their teachers. But, how close is too close?

Another friend, who attends Northwestern University, spoke with me about a professor at her school who was notorious for his private tutorials with female students. Whether or not there were any sexual advances made, professors should not put themselves in such compromising positions. If there is a need for individual instruction, do it in a public place, or leave an office door open. Never create reason for suspicion, which will only lead to rumors.

In short, these student-teacher relationships are romanticized and dramatized into the exciting and glorious things we see on television, yet purported to be few-and-far-between. In reality, they are relatively common, and never work out for the best. So protect yourself.

Teachers: do not put yourself in a situation which could be interpreted as anything other than educational. Students: if a professor makes you uncomfortable, speak up!!!

And remember that the Zach Morrises and Joey Potters of the world are much better suited for you than any dinosaur of a professor.